A MONOLOGUE IN THE RAIN
A monologue in the rain
I can learn to help others without losing myself, my mind, my body and soul, my faith or resources. As I connect more to my spiritual Soul journey I’m finding new resources, different resources, differnt places and people.
As I become more attuned with the spiritual part of my life, I’m feeling supported in so many ways … By surrendering and trusting the flow, I connect and understand my residual fears of abandonment that so often have been the roots of my codependency.
The cycle of giving and receiving, cause and effect are universal laws that transcends physical, emotional, mental and spiritual realms. At a quantum level, the world works to heal itself in this way. I connect to this laws, by honoring my choices. Respecting my choices, because lessons needs to come from them. Some lessons are harder then others, but they are what my should needs to learn. I chose this life to learn through this human experience, my own practice, my own journey.
I must take care of myself the way I care for the planet, mother GAIA (panchamama). A reciprocal relationship and the relationship that we need to always honor. By ignoring this universal principles, things go extinct or become threatened. I can not ignore my personal roots for the same reason. Family pattens are highly overrated because they get reenacted in adulthood and can be patterns in a multi-generational level. I chose this life time, to brake chains, patterns to create new ones for me and my future generations. This is the time to dig deep into the secrets and emerge with greater Truth.
When I started to become aware of my roots of codependency, I started to transform into being more self-actualized. Self-actualized… a term I studied by reading about it from amazing psychologist I follow. Self-actualized people give, they are able to love and be loved fully and freely. I wanted that, I wanted to be that. Self-actualized people know when to say NO and YES in authentic and diplomatic ways without feeling guilt or resentment. Healthy boundaries. They are not driven by a fear of abandonment or egocentricity. They are able to assist others without deprivation, fatigue or by being self-limiting.
In a contrast, I was connecting more to Self-limiting beliefs. This beliefs are rooted in childhood and are related to the "disease to please" and approval seeking behavior. Beliefs imprinted in me, that with awareness I’m healing one minute, hour and day at the time.
My behavior of apologizing for things that were not my fault. (Saying “Sorry” for everything). My boundaries were limited if maybe none at all.
My awareness is connecting me to a better me, an understanding of the roots so I can start my healing and not just put another bandaid to it. AWARENESS, UNDERSTANDING, SELF COMPASSION AND LOVE. The tools for my healing.
Being open to rinse my bad thoughts, love them a little.
Feelings the rain rinsing all my guilt, negative thoughts, self judgement, low vibes from my vessel, from my soul. A metaphor that feels real, and intentional.
Work on you, Be you, WAKE UP and make the changes you need to be a happier YOU baby girl!
Raise UP and BE YOUR BEAUTIFUL SELF!
